Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
