I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
