her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
