One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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