im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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