if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
