Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
