Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ruined the universe
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
