Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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