he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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