WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
