I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
