do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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