check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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