brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I did not marry a roomba.
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