so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
