careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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