Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize