You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
