Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
