FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
tell me about the eggs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
