I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
