yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
