we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
