Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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