I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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