Christians are straight up FREAKS
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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