whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
