i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
