Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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