It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
