I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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