she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
