And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
