OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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