and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
