They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
