I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
