he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
