We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
