we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
