just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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