just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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