Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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