it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
