Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
