ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize