She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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