Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
