She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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