I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
