It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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