I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
