I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
