her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
