She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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