i think my tv is drunk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
