Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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