how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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